Mixed Media, Virginia Woolf, and Healing Through Art

What inspires us? Is it beautiful? Is it heartbreaking? Is it something so glorious, or so devastating that it is hard to compose or interpret?

While I can never lay claim to creating anything glorious or heartbreaking, I find most of my inspiration in music. I see the emotions in the composition, and hear them in the lyrics. My brain filters these, turning them into shapes and colors. And most of what I picture in my head can not be put down on paper because I am simply not that talented.

Still, when inspiration knocks, it is hard for anyone to simply say "Go away!". We find a way to give that inspiration an outlet.

I finished a mixed media painting yesterday that was inspired by a song that was inspired by a heartbreaking event in history. Perhaps not heartbreaking to those living now, but heartbreaking to those who were personally involved, heartbreaking to those who loved the person who took her life. According to historical recollection, the late author, Virginia Woolf, took her own life by filling the pockets of her overcoat with stones and drowning herself in the River Ouse.

In a letter to her husband, Leonard, Virginia wrote:  

"Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that—everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V."

The song that inspired me is by Florence and The Machine's "Never Let Me Go".

Please don't get me wrong~I do not believe that suicide is the only answer. However, I don't judge others based on their decision. Sometimes a heart is so heavy with the burden of a disease or disorder, that the only sane resolution seems to be to drown it. I know some who won't agree, and that's ok.

So, let me tell you why this song resonates with me. When life gets crazy, and my anxiety takes over, I have a habit of closing my eyes and imagining myself in a vast ocean, sitting on the sandy floor. The current pulls and pushes me. I imagine my hair flowing, I imagine the waves crashing above me, but I am safe here on the ocean floor. It is calm and peaceful. Life is still here, waiting for me, but its sounds and its business are muffled and distant. I do my best to let go of what's bothering me. I find peace in these moments.

Which is why I sat down yesterday and created this:

It is a mixed media painting honoring the peace I feel when I think of the ocean. On this wood panel are shells and stones and drift wood that I have picked up while walking along the riverbanks and sound shores here in Washington. There are rose~copper colored fresh water pearls scattered about, metal sea turtles and mermaid charms. There is sea glass, and what I like to call "unicorn shells". The lyrics to the song have been incorporated into the painting, as well. 

I wish you all peace, no matter where and how you find it, but remember that you are here for a reason. You are loved, you are worth fighting for, and you can heal. <3

Love,

Jenny Kaye

Creating A Very Tiny Space For Art

I may live in a four bedroom house, but it's tiny. 6 people live here. Two are garage hogs, three are kids, and then there's poor, little ol' me...no space to call my own...

I *may* be exaggerating. But, not by much.

I noticed that all my little projects were encroaching onto other people's spaces, and I was getting frustrated. So, I decided that ENOUGH is ENOUGH. I convinced my dear to help me move a large chair down to the garage, and if he could move his dresser across the room. He did! I have now conquered the very tiny corner, near my bed. Hooray!!

Setting up a place to call your own is not easy. Any art space has to speak to the maker of the art. Some people like a completely empty and open space, with little to distract the mind. Some like organized clutter, color, and everything at hand before they can sit and create. And, then there's all those creative people in between. My space is quite literally two feet deep by 4 feet wide! But, it is mine! And I love it! Here's the progression:

The Beginning: Booooorrrrring!!

Decorating the walls with some inspiration!

The Tool Corner: Organized Clutter

Ta-Da! The Finished Product!

To the left of the table, I have my postal/packaging station for the items I sell on Etsy. Beneath the table, I have all my jewelry making supplies and goodies.

And on the right side of the table, I have my make-shift book shelf (just some plastic DVD stands stacked on top of each other and the books stowed precariously in the shelves), my spinning tools tote, my embroidery tote, and my paper tote.

Now, I feel like I could stay here forever! And it is just further proof that you CAN make a space to create anywhere! Would I love to have an entire room dedicated to creating? Heck yeah! But, until my kids are grown up and have moved out for the last time (ask my mom~I can't tell you how many times her art room became a bedroom, and then an art room, and then a bedroom, and then a guest room, and so on...I believe now she finally has a permanent room for her art), I will not have an entire room.

Also on our agenda today was a trip east, to a little itty bitty town called Baring. We went out there to look at a piece of property on the Skykomish River. Needless to say it's not ideal for homesteading (I will get into that another day), but it was such a nice drive, and we were able to stop and play in the snow!

And we've been blessed with a couple of clear days, so it was great to be able to see the mountain peaks, covered in white! Usually, we get to see about half way up, and then the mountain peaks are hidden in thick rain and snow clouds. The Skykomish is my favorite river of all time. There will never be a river that could ever replace it in my heart. I've swam in it, fished in it, and found peace in it. I've even found wolf paw prints in the sand along the river bank. Here are some pictures I was able to take today:

This is actually really cool~a flood created this log and rock jam, which created this gentle little swirling pool of crystal clear water! I wanted to jump in, but alas, it is VERY cold water!

We actually have a lot of white water here on the Skykomish, and this would be considered somewhat "gentle".

John, Evie, Rosa, and David. They were throwing snowballs in the river.

If you look to the left of this photo, about three quarters of the way up, you can see the snowball missile that my love threw at me. It hit me. I cried. Not really.

Just a pretty view of the other side of the river and the mountains!

I hope Heaven is right on the Skykomish!

And that's it for today! Tomorrow is the first day of the New Year, and, unfortunately, a work day for me. Oh well! Someone's gotta keep the world going, right? :)

Happy 2013, my lovely friends!
Love,

Jenny Kaye

Let The New Year Begin!

So, it's~once again~been a while since my last post...I have been so busy. To make matters worse, I'm 95% sure I've got carpal tunnel in both my wrists. Along with arthritis, let me tell you, it is not fun. I'm a hands on kinda gal. I love to make things, and I love knitting and crochet. I can't do any of it. I can't make jewelry, I can't knit. I can't crochet. I can't write, and my hands go numb even when I'm driving. If the inability to do all of those isn't enough, I keep dropping things. Important things, like phones, laptops, mugs full of coffee. Even the simplest, lightest thing will slip through my fingers. Fortunately, I haven't dropped any kids. At least, not yet. I clean rooms for a living, and I can't tell you how many times I've dropped cleaning supplies.

Sigh...

On a lighter note, Christmas was wonderful. I forgot to turn the oven on before sticking a 15 pound turkey in it. Fortunately, my Uncle Stan brought a spiraled ham, fully smoked and ready to eat. :) The turkey did eventually finish cooking. After everyone had left. My mom sent me a wonderful gift: A beautiful mug (no, I haven't dropped it yet), a mesh tea ball, which she decorated herself with the sweetest little charms, two bags of herbal tea, and a cute little silver spoon with the words "TEA TIME" stamped into the ladle. She also sent two delicious jars of infused honey! I also received a $150 gift card to Dick Blick. <--- Click here to see an amazing on-line store just chock full of art and creativity supplies! I will be taking a one year course through Tammy LaPorte's site. It's LB2013, and I'm SO EXCITED!! I bought everything I needed for the course, and more. So, while I'm indulging in a "paintier" adventure, I will be sipping Fairy Ring tea from a beautiful mug. :)

See those cute little charms? Love it!!

You can check out Mortar and Petal by clicking here!

I received many heartfelt gifts this year, and for them I am so grateful. What I'm even more grateful for is family, and the time I was able to spend with everyone. Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Love,
Jenny Kaye

Time Is The Only Thing We Can't Get Back

And this time of year, it goes by way too quickly. Especially when you're making everyone's Christmas gifts...

I am so happy to report that I am employed. And not only am I employed, but I love my job. Sometimes we question what we do for a living, and if it's worth it. If it makes a difference. I believe mine does. I work at a facility for independent and assisted living seniors. I humbly clean their tiny homes. Little one or two bedroom apartments. I get to talk with them, maybe even take a trip down memory lane with them.

Having a job seriously takes away from creating. And sometimes, even on my days off I have so much to get done. I don't feel up to knitting, or making jewelry. But, it's crunch time. If I want to get anything done, I just have to do it.

Thanksgiving was awesome. Very relaxed, lots of joking around and picking on brothers. My kids had a blast, and it's always great to be around family.

There will be pictures soon, I just haven't been able to take many, or even blog all that much. Laundry mates behind my back, dishes magically appear out of no where, and children get sick. It's life. :) I'm glad I'm here to enjoy every little bit of it.

Love,

Jenny Kaye

It's Been A Whirl Wind! (Update)

It has been slightly crazy. And by slightly, I mean completely, utterly, overwhelmingly...

I have recently been employed by a great company. I'm housekeeping in a senior citizen assisted living home. I wasn't sure how cut out for it I would be, but I love it. I love seeing their faces everyday, and I love pleasing them. I suffer from some pretty severe social anxiety. Grocery shopping, crowded areas, being around strangers; it's all very intimidating. I guess I can relate to a lot of the residents there. Some are still in the move-in phase, and are having a hard time adjusting. I realize I'm definitely not alone, and I can offer some comfort to them. I spend most of the day alone, which is very nice.

And not only that, but I feel welcomed there by all the other employees. The folks that I work with are really sweet, and pretty darn awesome if you ask me.

Then, I come home, make dinner, clean my house, and try to relax for a few minutes before falling into bed.

I have been unable to give my Christmas gifts much attention over the past week, but fortunately, the convertible fingerless mittens can be knitted fairly quickly. I say *fortunately* because I have to make about eight pairs of these mittens/gloves. It's a very easy, but handsome pattern, and you can find it here. I'm using a fairly bulky yarn, so it knits up really fast. I dyed my own, with wool from KnitPicks.com and you can find that here. Dyes can be found here.

Did I ever tell you how much I love KnitPicks? :D

I'm so grateful that I now have an income; that I'm happily employed. My feet ache, my back is killing me, and I can't wait to go back on Tuesday!

Love,

Jenny Kaye

Chilly Days, Baby Socks, and Wool Preparation

The nights here in western WA are getting very cold. I'm talking in the upper 30's...it leaves our house very chilly in the morning, and I would rather just stay in bed. By mid afternoon, it's beautiful outside, though, so it's worth the chilly mornings.

I love this time of year. I love seeing the pumpkins on the front porches, the amazing spider webs that are built in the trees and bushes, the bluejays and cardinals and ravens. It's this time of year that my body realizes it's time to slow down, to stay warm and cozy. To curl up with my knitting or crochet and create. To cuddle with my punks and hibernate.

I've taken the insane liberty of making Halloween costumes this year...It should be interesting. I might cry.

I've been on a baby sock kick lately. Yes, I'm expecting, but not in that sense. I'm expecting other people to start making babies. I've made my baby contribution and now I'm done. Other people need to start making contributions, and make me an aunt. I love making baby socks because they are sooooo easy. I wrote my own pattern, and I've been slowly tweaking it. It will eventually be available for purchase on Etsy! It is my firm belief that babies must wear socks. At all times. Because it's cute.

 

Another project I'm currently working on is a giant pile of wool. It's a fleece from an East Friesian sheep. I've never heard of this breed before, as they are primarily milk sheep. Their milk is great for soaps and lotions. I will be making my DBF a sweater, and I need 1550 yards of yarn for it, so I thought, to save money, I'd get a 5-6 pound fleece, clean it, process it, dye it, and then spin it for the sweater. This is such a calming project. I will post pictures of the progress. For now, take a look at this creamy fiber...it's like heaven in my hands! As you can see from the photos, my wool combs are very primitive. Wool combs tend to be very expensive, and I tend to not have money. So, I made these. While their appearance is not superior, they work extremely well, and I love them. They were roughly $22 to make, and there may come a time when I have better tools, and I'll post a tutorial on making them.

I love when wool goes from this:

To this:

It's hard to envision a dark olive green knit sweater coming from what's above...but that's what makes it even more amazing. I love the idea of taking the fleece off the sheep, cleaning it up, combing it out, dyeing it, spinning it 2 ply, and then knitting it up into something a loved one can wear for years.

Love,

Jenny Kaye

Creative Craze

There's something about creating that is so hard to resist. I have so many craft loves, I can never pick just one. It's CADD. Crafting Attention Deficit Disorder, and I have it.

I'm guilty, as most crafters are, of starting a project and then, halfway through it, starting a brand new project. At any given time, I have three projects going on, and nothing seems to reach an end.

For example: I am making Christmas gifts this year, as I have for the past few years, and I have about 37 gifts to make. Granted, these gifts are small, one per person...still, I find myself taking breaks from them to start new projects. Handmade items for Etsy, random, just because gifts to friends and family, and so on. I have even written a few patterns for socks in the past two days.

It's getting out of hand.

And I love it.

The people who know and love me see this, shake their heads, and say "There she goes again..."

But they don't know how addicting creating can be! They don't see the cute baby socks in that Cascade yarn on the shelf. They don't see the fingerless mitts in that hand spun yarn in my yarn stash!

Other crafters get it. It's universal. It's that moment of the lower lip bite, the "I know I really shouldn't" mumble. It's like our heads are completely detached from our bodies and floating somewhere in craft heaven. It's the pressing of our cheeks into the softest skein of cashmere yarn that is always $50 out of our reach. It's the chronic casting on and ripping out of projects we know we shouldn't be starting because the other five are waiting to be finished...the anxiety of knowing there's seven patterns just waiting for you to use. It's the voice inside us that says, "Ok, so you've got severe arthritis in this hand. Instead of knitting the edging, you'll crochet it!"

I went to Etsy recently. I may or may not have purchased embroidery supplies. Let's just say I did...and then, maybe, just maybe, I also purchased 7 pounds of East Friesian wool to make yarn that will eventually make a sweater for a dearly loved one...

And, it's that creative craze, the internal dialogue, "If you love me, you'll just let me go on knitting." "If you truly cared, you would let me get past this point of the weave so the jump rings don't bundle up and make a mess of things." "Please understand that I've been knitting for days, and I just found out that I'm making it three sizes too small. I really didn't mean to hit you over the head with the frying pan..."

Ok, maybe that last excuse was a bit too  much. But addiction can be blinding!

Now, I must get some laundry done. It'll kill time while I wait for my goodies from Etsy.

*heehee!*

Love,

Jenny Kaye